Shia LaBeouf: Getting Buff

Shia LaBeouf says: "I'm Getting Buff for Indiana Jones." We'll say! His new name will be Shia The Buff. Expand the section to read more.



Shia LaBeouf

Shia LaBeouf Shirtless

Shia says he is beefing up to star in the new Indiana Jones movie alongside Harrison Ford. "The guy is still in premium shape," LaBeouf told PEOPLE magazine. "You don't want to be standing next to Harrison Ford and not be jacked also."

The shirtless sepia-tone, "wet" image was submitted to Ouchpost by famed photographer Bert Shirt, done for a magazine photo spread ostensibly to coincide with the hit movie star's new adventure film release. Hot!










Color Photos: MATTHIAS VRIENS, Entertainment Weekly.

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Ding Dong the Witch is Dead

Rosie O'Donnell, to the delight of millions of Americans (as well as Elisabeth Hasselbeck, no doubt) has permanently left ABC's "The View." Let us rejoice.



Rosie O'Donnell

Rosie O'Donnell, to the delight of millions of Americans (as well as Elisabeth Hasselbeck, no doubt) has permanently left ABC's "The View." Let us rejoice... and also hope and pray she is off of television altogether.

As much fun as it was to watch her brand of artifice-powered intelligentsia and misfired neo-socialist liberalism fail time and time again to produce anything other than widespread embarrassment for herself and ABC, it will be nice to have her image off of the nightly news. We must, after all, eat.

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Sanjaya Malakar the Anti-Idol

Say goodbye to any credibility the American Idol franchise has had with regard to its democratically chosen winners.



Sanjaya Malakar
American Idol

Sanjaya Malakar and the maelstrom of controversy (and outright false-voting) surrounding him is going to RUIN any credibility the American Idol franchise has with regard to its democratically chosen winners. How could the American public stand such a bad singer week after week? Answer: it can't. The false-voting going on to keep him on TV is making a mockery of American Idol.

Even Simon Cowell said he would quit the show if Malakar won. I don't blame him. If he even gets into the final three, I'll never watch the show again.

American Idol should institute technological blocks that prevent any household from registering more than, say, three votes for any one contestant in one evening. That would level the playing field.

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Star Trek Emasculated

The newly remastered Star Trek original series offers thrills as well as a few disappointments.



Star Trek: Remastered

The newly remastered Star Trek original series offers thrills as well as a few disappointments. Gone are the grainy, crude models and special effects of the original run, replaced with gorgeous CGI, standardized photon torpedoes and phasers, and lots of fun camera angles heretofore impossible.

But the new treats appear to come at a price: in many of the re-mastered episodes, which sport wonderfully clarified and bright new resolution to the actors' scenes as well, the simple act of cleaning the gate has been forgotten. Specks, dots, hairs and other detritus can still be seen, sometimes right over the faces of the characters, particularly in the episode entitled "Mirror, Mirror."

In "The Doomsday Machine," an important face-off on the bridge between Spock and Commodore Decker has been edited out. Why? "Vulcans never bluff," Spock says. "No," replies Decker, "I don't suppose that they do." Gone! Ugggh. This to make room for more special effects? Absolutely not worth it. No way.

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The Psychology of the Wars of TV Celebs

College psychology courses throughout the ages typically tend to agree on one set of similarities between people everywhere. Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump are no different.

College psychology courses throughout the ages typically tend to agree on one set of similarities between people everywhere: everyone masturbates, everyone picks their nose, and no one minds the smell of their own flatulence. Be this as it may, political problems chiefly tend to arise when these activities aren't practiced strictly in private.

So this brings us to Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump. Two equally beligerent, ignorant, base individuals who choose to air their dirty inter-personal drama before the rest of us in place of actual entertainment. Both should find themselves off the tube forthwith.

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